Really Cold Outside

"It's so cold", and you fill in the blank. Cold has a different meaning to a California native and a Minnesota native. What's cold to someone in Miami is substantially different than to someone in Winnipeg Canada. Here's a handy reference list for you.

How Cold is it from 65 to 40 Degrees Outside? (Yes, all temperatures are in Fahrenheit)

at 65 Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night
at 60 Californians put on sweaters  (if they can find one)
at 50 Miami residents turn on the heat
at 45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts
at 40 You can see your breath, and Californians shiver uncontrollably, and Minnesotans go swimming.

How Cold is it from 35 to 25 Degrees Outside?

at 35 Italian cars don't start
at 32 Water freezes
at 30 You plan your vacation to Australia
at 25 Ohio water freezes, and Californians weep pitiably, and Minnesotans eat ice cream, and Canadians go swimming.

How Cold is it from 20 to 5 Degrees Outside?

at 20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless and New York City water freezes and Miami residents plan vacation further South.
at 15 French cars don't start and cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
at 10 You need jumper cables to get the car going
at 5 American cars don't start

How Cold is it from 0 to -20 Degrees Outside?

at 0 Alaskans put on T-shirts
at -10 German cars don't start, and your eyes freeze shut when you blink
at -15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, and folks from Arkansas stick their tongues on metal fence poles, and Miami residents cease to exist.
at -20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you, and Politicians actually do something about the homeless, and Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, and Japanese cars don't start.

How Cold is it from -25 to -40 Degrees Outside?

at -25 It's too cold to think, and you need jumper cables to get the driver going
at -30 You plan a two week hot bath, and Swedish cars don't start
at -40 Californians disappear, and Minnesotans button top button, and Canadians put on sweaters, and your car helps you plan your trip South.

How cold is it from the -50 to -90 Below Zero?

at -50 Congressional hot air freezes, and Alaskans close the bathroom window
at -80 Hell freezes over, and Polar bears move South, and Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game.
at -90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets!

Prayer: Eternal Father, we thank You for those who make us laugh, especially ourselves.  Help us prepare for the winter season and the cold with laughter rather than complaining.  We know You are the wise one in creating the seasons.  Amen